A Late Night Chat with a Parakeet
A Late Night Chat with a Parakeet A Late Night Chat with a Parakeet My name is Hattie MacGruder. I am queen and absolute leader of my third grade class, and I have a parakeet! He's not one of those little silly, singing birds, but a real talking parakeet. He talks like there's no tomorrow. He talks about the weather and my friends and the stupid seeds he has to eat. He would much rather eat jelly or chili cheese fries, and he loves Britney Spears. I am telling the truth. There are other
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A Late Night Chat with a Parakeet
A Late Night Chat with a Parakeet
My name is Hattie MacGruder.I am queen and absolute leader of my third grade class, and I have a parakeet!
He's not one of those little silly, singing birds, but a real talking parakeet.
He talks like there's no tomorrow.He talks about the weather and my friends and the stupid seeds he has to eat.He would much rather eat jelly or chili cheese fries, and he loves Britney Spears.
I am telling the truth.
There are others who are not telling the truth.
Sybil and Sarah are liars and fibbers and tellers of untruth.
They said that there never was a talking parakeet.They said the parakeet never even tasted a chili cheese fry.Mostly they said that parakeets don't talk.They said that I'd made it all up.That's why they are liars and fibbers and tellers of untruth.Because there really was what I said there was—there always is and…...plus, I have absolute proof about the talking parakeet and all the other things that happen to me.
The proof is in my diary.I'm going to let you read it exactly as I wrote it when the parakeet talked.That way you can read, first hand, the truth about this matter.
Special Note:
I am only going to let you read the parts of my diary that are about the parakeet.You won't get to read the stuff about me getting grounded for sassing my teacher—which I didn't do.I swear somebody was playing ventriloquism tricks on me.Mom was so mad that she had to see my teacher.She wouldn't even let me buy the new Britney Spears CD I had been saving up for.
Mostly, you won't get to read anything about Sybil, Sarah, and me going to the movies on Sunday.We saw Libby Thompson, and she was not sitting alone.She was sitting with the geek of all geekers, Davey Brewster, who was supposed to be my friend.But he must have forgotten about our little talk after lunch on Thursday.Libby must have made him go with her—blackmail or something.And I am not going to let you read the part where Davey Brewster got her a soda.Or when he gave her the gumball that fell on the icky movie- theater floor.She ate it!I hope she doesn't get a fatal disease or anything.
The Proof:
Diary, Day 117
It was kind of a sad day.My mom's aunt (my great-aunt) died.I didn't know her that well but I was sad for my mom.I didn't go to the funeral, but my mom and dad did.Then they went over to my great-aunt's house and everybody was sad together.
I spent the day at Sarah's house.Sybil came over, and we played cards (Spite and Malice), watched TV, and talked about Davey Brewster.He is so pop. He and I are special buds.We talked about it after lunch on the playground Thursday and decided that it was cool.He said he liked me better than any girl in the third grade.I like him better than any boy in the whole world.Well, except for Debbie Phillips's older brother, who I am going to marry when I retire from my career.
Anyway, I was supposed to spend the night at Sarah's, but my mom wanted me to come home.
She was in a much better mood when I got there.She didn't seem sad at all.In fact, she was pretty happy.She said there was a surprise waiting for me in my room.I thought for sure it was going to be the Britney Spears CD that she wouldn't let me get. It wasn't…
